The year is coming to an end. Finally. Goodbye 2010, hello 2011. It seems cliche that we become so reflective at the end of each calendar year, when in fact the reflection should take place each and every day. As this year comes to a much-welcomed close, I am reflecting upon lessons learned, lessons taught, lessons observed and how change is sometimes just what one needs. Like a freshly washed blackboard on the first day of school, the trees budding in the spring...a clean slate and a fresh start.
A year ago this week, we began what has turned out to be a very long journey to begin our family. Due to circumstances beyond our control and way too much stress in our daily lives, our first cycle of IVF failed. Looking back, it was a foolish decision to choose that time in our lives to try to have a baby...and that decision has been made a few times since. Each time, it ends in heartbreak...whether by miscarriage or cycle failure....either way, its another step towards a door that is slowly closing in our futures. So, one of the biggest lessons that we have both learned is that stress is damaging. Research proves that it is harmful to our bodies in so many ways...cancer-causing, stroke-inducing, obesity, depression...stress is a common denominator. However, we have also learned that managing stress and the influences surrounding us (jobs, family, infertility, friends, etc) is really important. And, it is acceptable to, after putting God first, to put our marriage in a close second...for this is what the Bible instructs us to do. When each day is done I know that I have at least one constant that I can depend on, and that is my husband. Friends come and go (the true ones stick around), family is a constant ebb and flow of change and discord, careers take on new directions, we move to new places...but we always have one another, and in that there is great contentment, only found after much grief and turmoil and trial and error. So, the lesson has been learned and will be under very close management in the future.
In making the move back to Chicago, we said farewell to jobs that we loved and great friends that were made while in Dallas. If the last four months are any indication to "lifetime" friendships, then I am confident in saying that some of the best friends we've been lucky enough to know have been from relationships that began in Texas. (See, Texas was good for something!) Although its wonderful to be home, where our heartstrings have been pulling us for quite some time, it has not happened without turmoil and...you guessed it...stress. Luckily, we have a very close core group of loved ones that have kept us focused, serious and sane. Well, and we've had a little bit of fun along the way, too. :) Scott has a wonderful position in a very popular restaurant with tons of room for upward growth and I am on the brink of a position that I have been searching for since I arrived. Good things come to those who patiently wait (Thanks again, Dad!), and our waiting has allowed each of us the time to reflect upon the past and plan for the future.
In creating a new life (both baby-speak and collectively), we are going to say goodbye to some of the social outlets that have created unnecessary issues while we focus on expanding our family. I will still check Facebook periodically, but for privacy reasons none of our news will be public knowledge. My body is working very diligently for me and I am choosing to protect every moment of each day; selfish, some may say, but a choice that has been a long time coming. Health, happiness and well being are at the top of the list of goals for 2011. So, goodbye chaos & stress and misread, manipulated words and status updates. Hello, Peace and Grace. We've been waiting a long time for you!
We are excited for what lies ahead and thankful for a daily dose of hope and love, tempered with a bit of patience and the desire to endure. This next chapter of life will be an exciting one; carefully protected, tenderly loved. Blogging will continue, but in a different capacity. More humor, less personal. My novel writing can finally resume, bread baking for fun and not stress relief will happen, and yoga is once again for an inward peace and outward release. Email and phone calls are welcomed! Facebooking is not.
Have a safe and blessed Christmas and wishing much love, peace and joy in the new year.
Until again,
~Red
1 comment:
Want all good things for you in the coming year...your optimism is inspiring! Stress has caused me nothing but illness, weight gain, and loss of sleep this past year, and I've made up my mind that 2011 will be the year that I take control of the things I can, and let go of the ones I can't. My life is too valuable, my children are too loved, and my family and friends are too important to let stress take precedence over them. I'm looking forward to spending some time with you and catching up and will make time, hectic schedule or not. Have a wonderful holiday with your husband and family! Love you!
Kristi
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