So, I was walking Sebastian a few mornings ago, minding my own business (as usual)...until I came upon a women who was cutting her front yard grassy patch. With SCISSORS. They appeared to be kitchen shears. In my mind I thought, "Hmmm, why not get yourself one of those handy-dandy human powered lawnmower thingys and save yourself some time, not to mention your back?". Yep, These were the Thoughts in my Mind. In reality, I began giggling uncontrollably and then Sebastian decided to lift his leg on her fence. tee hee~what on earth are people thinking sometimes?
Raining, yet again, and getting warmer and more humid, making for yet another great hair day. Luckily, my lovely sister-in-law turned me onto the absolute best curly hair stylist....no excuse me...he is an ARTIST...a few weeks ago and I have an amazing new haircut that allows me embrace my curls in all of their loveliness. Thanks, Jeni!
Ah, cupcakes. Chicago is filled with cupcake bakeries and every few months it seems as if another one opens. (Side note: yuppies don't mind paying $4 a cake for their uncontrollable, spoiled, bratty, misbehaving kids*) I follow a blog belonging to a fellow Chicagoan and she often writes about her cupcake searches too. On Wednesday, she had a cupcake mishap (her cat vomited on a box of cupcakes meant for a birthday celebration) and needed recommendations for a different bakery to purchase more~apparently, she frequents one particular bakery often and didn't want to go back in there to replace the vomit-ruined dozen. This reminded me to not only give her a good rec'o, but to also share my devout dedication to one Cupcake Bakery in particular here in Chicago-Swirlz, on Belden.
For those of you who know me personally or who follow my blogs, you know that my brother David passed away last August, leaving behind his wife and two teenage daughters. They came to stay with Scott and I for a few days before Christmas and had their first Chicago cupcake experience. My older niece, Ashley, is graduating from high school this Sunday (by the way, check out my family album of pics on myspace.com/gracefuldaisy for these gorgeous girls-Ash has red hair just like mine!), and in planning her party we couldn't decide on what kind of dessert would best emulate Ashley's personality and accomplishments of the last year. We decided on cupcakes and I began to investigate all avenues of cupcake purchasing vs. baking them myself...then the question of transporting them from Chicago to Green Bay in humid weather became an issue...I wrote a letter to the manager and owners of Swirlz and told them of my brother, his passing, his three precious girls, and their Christmas Cupcake Experience. I told them that I wanted to do something special for Ashley, as this was going to be the family's first big milestone since David left us, and a difficult one at that. I was hoping for some kind of courtesy discount, or maybe just a few free cupcakes on top of my substantial order for the party. What happened next is almost unbelievable~the wonderful people of Swirlz in Chicago not only embraced this tragic story and upcoming event with the care and concern you would expect of just close friends or family members...they were so touched by the story of my nieces and their perseverance and faithfulness and have donated, yes donated, every single cupcake necessary for Ashley's party. This is just another example of the goodness to be found within our communities, and proves yet again that my brother undoubtedly touched many lives and hearts without ever coming face to face with so many people. So, patronize Swirlz on Belden as often as you can if you live in Chicago~they have awesome cupcakes and friendly service! (Thanks, Paula, for all of your diligent attention to detail and for embracing our family during this time!) *oh, yeah, Scott and I DO have to transport above mentioned cupcakes x 150 somehow on Saturday! Pray for cool weather!*
I am trying to catch up on emails and such that have gone by the wayside this week, from our ancient desktop. Ugh. I was goofing around last night on amazon.com via the laptop (which also houses four years of my writings and ideas, and everything for my current school project), when suddenly it went dark. As in....lights out, good night, see ya later. Dark. And not coming back on. I have tried everything to troubleshoot the problem and the best I have been able to do so far is see the outline of my desktop icons and background picture...but, its still in the dark. It's going in today to those wonderful guys called the Geek Squad...so let's cross our fingers and hope for the best! I will be absolutely crushed if all of my material that has been written, edited, rewritten, submitted, denied, etc. is GONE. (Yes, I know...time for also purchasing external hard drive to periodically back things up. You'd think we would have learned our lesson a few years back...) So, if you try to email me this weekend with no response, its because 1)I am out of town (duh, didn't you read the paragraph about cupcakes being transported???) and 2)I will not have my trusty laptop with me for a few days.
On another side note...please do not tell me about the SATC movie if you see it before me!!! I can't see it until later next week and am avoiding any and all spoilers in regards to it....SO KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, PEOPLE!!!
Lovely weekend wishes to everyone.
Until again,
~Red
Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Crazy Dog Lady
I am crazy dog lady.
Yes, today a stranger called me crazy for talking to my dog. I wasn't bothering anyone, I swear. He sneezed; I blessed him. How is that crazy?
Okay, maybe it is a little strange to people who might not have pets. Or to people who have children and pets, because these people tend to forget that their pets were once their children.
Or maybe I am crazy dog lady because I actually tried to explain myself to this stranger who insulted me. I am sure that he thinks I am REALLY crazy dog lady now after my feeble attempt to elaborate on the reasons why I have conversations with Sebastian.
Huh. Well, sometimes it is really lonely here and I talk to Sebastian because of that.
Actually, that isn't true.
Lonely or not, I always talk to him. He is my loyal friend, a listener without verbal comment. He understands, people. He does. I can see you judegmentally shaking your head and agreeing with the stranger on the street. My dog is my child. He's smart. He's here when you aren't. He loves me without stipulations and without expecting anything more than some pats on the head, a few belly rubs, and random long walks. He doesn't care what I look like, what I say or how I say it. I don't have to wait for him to return phone calls, emails or make plans weeks in advance because of busy schedules. He's adaptable and sweet. He knows my moods sometimes before I do. And, I know if the weather is changing for the worse because of his actions. We have communication, my dog and I. That isn't crazy. It's called connection. Love. Friendship without expectations.
Maybe I am not crazy dog lady after all.
Or if I am, then so be it. I wouldn't give him up for anything in this world.
Yes, today a stranger called me crazy for talking to my dog. I wasn't bothering anyone, I swear. He sneezed; I blessed him. How is that crazy?
Okay, maybe it is a little strange to people who might not have pets. Or to people who have children and pets, because these people tend to forget that their pets were once their children.
Or maybe I am crazy dog lady because I actually tried to explain myself to this stranger who insulted me. I am sure that he thinks I am REALLY crazy dog lady now after my feeble attempt to elaborate on the reasons why I have conversations with Sebastian.
Huh. Well, sometimes it is really lonely here and I talk to Sebastian because of that.
Actually, that isn't true.
Lonely or not, I always talk to him. He is my loyal friend, a listener without verbal comment. He understands, people. He does. I can see you judegmentally shaking your head and agreeing with the stranger on the street. My dog is my child. He's smart. He's here when you aren't. He loves me without stipulations and without expecting anything more than some pats on the head, a few belly rubs, and random long walks. He doesn't care what I look like, what I say or how I say it. I don't have to wait for him to return phone calls, emails or make plans weeks in advance because of busy schedules. He's adaptable and sweet. He knows my moods sometimes before I do. And, I know if the weather is changing for the worse because of his actions. We have communication, my dog and I. That isn't crazy. It's called connection. Love. Friendship without expectations.
Maybe I am not crazy dog lady after all.
Or if I am, then so be it. I wouldn't give him up for anything in this world.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Life Goes On
Life has to go on~it must, and it will.
It is necessary that each day propel us forward. We've all heard of it, the Circle of Life...you're born into this world; you live; and then you're gone. In this life, there will be death. Its a fact, its nothing new. Its not a surprise. It is what it is. We lose people that we love; we lose people that we don't love as much. Why, in the midst of life, when death strikes, do we regress and act as if this situation has never happened to anyone but US???? Why do some of us move forward gracefully, and others digress to the point of dying within themselves?
I am full of questions, though short on answers. Should we feel guilty for moving foward after losing someone we love? What if others around us want to constantly, and consistently, drag us down with them, when in fact we have tried so hard to get up each day and move on? How should we handle these dark clouds around us? Do we alienate them (further) from our lives, or blindly jump into the chaos they create, all in "the name of family"? Who decides what the limits are? In the grand scheme of life, shouldn't we expect death, and maybe even learn to welcome it when its time?
Shouldn't someone be in charge of keeping all of these clowns in line? I refuse to let my life become a circus and am proud of the fact that in my own little family unit, we have grieved, grown, and pressed on. What effect will this decision have on me?
That's an answer that I do know...I will be a one (wo-)man show.
And, what do we do when someone bypasses boundaries that we have strived to set? Confrontationally or gracefully, there will always be someone that isn't satisfied. How, in good faith and for personal sanity, can we draw the line and be sure that someone doesn't come along with an eraser? And when the lines are crossed, how do we move foward as broken souls?
This has been a mildly frustrating day. If you try to call me and my phone doesn't work, its because I have disconnected it!!!! We all know I wouldn't really do that, but it sure is tempting! Don't worry, a glass of wine and I will be back to my normal self.
Please share thoughts.
Until again,
~Red
*Scottie, you are always included in my one (wo-)man show. No worries for you!
It is necessary that each day propel us forward. We've all heard of it, the Circle of Life...you're born into this world; you live; and then you're gone. In this life, there will be death. Its a fact, its nothing new. Its not a surprise. It is what it is. We lose people that we love; we lose people that we don't love as much. Why, in the midst of life, when death strikes, do we regress and act as if this situation has never happened to anyone but US???? Why do some of us move forward gracefully, and others digress to the point of dying within themselves?
I am full of questions, though short on answers. Should we feel guilty for moving foward after losing someone we love? What if others around us want to constantly, and consistently, drag us down with them, when in fact we have tried so hard to get up each day and move on? How should we handle these dark clouds around us? Do we alienate them (further) from our lives, or blindly jump into the chaos they create, all in "the name of family"? Who decides what the limits are? In the grand scheme of life, shouldn't we expect death, and maybe even learn to welcome it when its time?
Shouldn't someone be in charge of keeping all of these clowns in line? I refuse to let my life become a circus and am proud of the fact that in my own little family unit, we have grieved, grown, and pressed on. What effect will this decision have on me?
That's an answer that I do know...I will be a one (wo-)man show.
And, what do we do when someone bypasses boundaries that we have strived to set? Confrontationally or gracefully, there will always be someone that isn't satisfied. How, in good faith and for personal sanity, can we draw the line and be sure that someone doesn't come along with an eraser? And when the lines are crossed, how do we move foward as broken souls?
This has been a mildly frustrating day. If you try to call me and my phone doesn't work, its because I have disconnected it!!!! We all know I wouldn't really do that, but it sure is tempting! Don't worry, a glass of wine and I will be back to my normal self.
Please share thoughts.
Until again,
~Red
*Scottie, you are always included in my one (wo-)man show. No worries for you!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Sleeping With My Eyes Wide Open...
Thanks to each of you that sent private comments about my last blog. My general rule in life is one that just simply steers us forward simply, kindly and with love for both the known and unknown. My brother has indeed touched my life in the thirty three years that I knew him, and through his children his presence is still very much real and familiar. So, you're welcome, you unnamed commentors--any little piece I can share to help move you forward is generously given.
Okay, onto the new day...
Tonight I have been extremely busy reading and writing and brainstorming. The clarity that I experienced last week has caused the creative juices to flow faster than usual (or at least faster than they have in awhile), and I can't seem to type fast enough to keep up with myself! In the midst of this busyness, I am also getting ready to start my new job, entertain my in-laws, partake in Memorial Day activities, clean my house, and pass my class with flying colors! Whew...oh yes, and also spend time with Scott and Sebastian and continue to contemplate our future living situation! I don't have very much on my plate at the moment, so what is wrong with me????
I barely slept last night at all. Two glasses of wine, four Tylenol PMs, and cuddling with Sebastian didn't even help. This city is making me crazy these days. The traffic, the sirens, the rude and pretentious neighbors, the expense, the dirt, dust and pollution~I believe that I have reached my limit within these city limits. One would never guess that within the hustle and bustle that you can feel isolated and even lonely. Seriously...I have a wonderful life with a husband that I adore, a dog that is my child, and friends that are closer than family. My in-laws are by far the most normal of families and I am blessed to have been welcomed with open arms. It's just the city...I long for a yard and trees and grass. Flowers. Tomato plants. Going barefoot. Stars. Quiet. Peace. That is what it really boils down to...peace. I'm thankful for where I am; grateful for who I have become; content with where I have been. But, confused about where I will venture to next...
The point is, and its not that exciting, is that I think today, at some point, I was literally sleeping with my eyes wide open. I was still writing, but just on autopilot. I read some of what I wrote this afternoon and didn't even remember writing it at all. I'm not under the influence, nor have I ever touched drugs...just tired today, and still have more to accomplish before my day ends and sweet slumber abounds.
Does this happen to anyone else? And, is there anything that works more effectively than overmedicating with over-the-counter stuff + wine???? Preferably only legal substance suggestions that are safe, please!
Until, again...
~Red
Okay, onto the new day...
Tonight I have been extremely busy reading and writing and brainstorming. The clarity that I experienced last week has caused the creative juices to flow faster than usual (or at least faster than they have in awhile), and I can't seem to type fast enough to keep up with myself! In the midst of this busyness, I am also getting ready to start my new job, entertain my in-laws, partake in Memorial Day activities, clean my house, and pass my class with flying colors! Whew...oh yes, and also spend time with Scott and Sebastian and continue to contemplate our future living situation! I don't have very much on my plate at the moment, so what is wrong with me????
I barely slept last night at all. Two glasses of wine, four Tylenol PMs, and cuddling with Sebastian didn't even help. This city is making me crazy these days. The traffic, the sirens, the rude and pretentious neighbors, the expense, the dirt, dust and pollution~I believe that I have reached my limit within these city limits. One would never guess that within the hustle and bustle that you can feel isolated and even lonely. Seriously...I have a wonderful life with a husband that I adore, a dog that is my child, and friends that are closer than family. My in-laws are by far the most normal of families and I am blessed to have been welcomed with open arms. It's just the city...I long for a yard and trees and grass. Flowers. Tomato plants. Going barefoot. Stars. Quiet. Peace. That is what it really boils down to...peace. I'm thankful for where I am; grateful for who I have become; content with where I have been. But, confused about where I will venture to next...
The point is, and its not that exciting, is that I think today, at some point, I was literally sleeping with my eyes wide open. I was still writing, but just on autopilot. I read some of what I wrote this afternoon and didn't even remember writing it at all. I'm not under the influence, nor have I ever touched drugs...just tired today, and still have more to accomplish before my day ends and sweet slumber abounds.
Does this happen to anyone else? And, is there anything that works more effectively than overmedicating with over-the-counter stuff + wine???? Preferably only legal substance suggestions that are safe, please!
Until, again...
~Red
Monday, May 12, 2008
Peace, Life and Moving Forward
Monday, Monday...
I am sitting here at my desk, taking a break from reading overload (not fun reading, actually reading for a class that I am taking), and wanted to share a few thoughts with those of you that know and love me. Monday is usually the start of a busy work or school week for most of us, and today didn't seem much different until right about now...
I spent an amazing week with my sister-in-law and nieces in Wisconsin last week. Not only was the week relaxing and restful and a nice break from the hectic city of Chicago, I came home with a new-found sense of peace. Yes, peace. Never have I been in a place that exudes such a calm and I have to say that it was the least place that I would have expected it to come from, especially regarding the loss of my brother and friend, David.
The last nine months have been a very long and winding road for our family, both as individuals and as a unit. Each one of us has our own family unit, and my brother left behind his family unit of two daughters and a wonderful wife, as well as sisters, brothers, our father, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, wonderful inlaws, a load of good friends, and a church family who loved him more than we can fathom. Being with the kids last week was refreshing, comforting, and actually a lot of fun! They have his sense of humor and his love of life. To see the three of them together, pressing on in the midst of change and learning to step forward and still embrace life, love, and one another is remarkable. I am ashamed for the down times I have spent missing my brother when I see their progress with each other and their surroundings. They have taught me to look forward with the grace and understanding that I think can only come from accepting the situation and finding the peace and goodness that has transpired since.
I wanted to share this in hopes of inspiring someone today. Live life fully, without regrets. Sometimes we don't get a second chance to right the wrongs on our path, so please try to life as wholly and full of love as possible. For each situation that we endure, there is someone else in this world that is suffering even more than us. In life, there will be death and grief. Our faith in God and our love for our family and friends can be a source of great strength to press on.
Smile at a stranger. Say please and thank you often. Help someone carry their groceries. Feel the warm spring breeze and sit in the sunshine for a few minutes during your lunch break. Be kind and gentle and you will too find the peace that I have recently found.
I am sitting here at my desk, taking a break from reading overload (not fun reading, actually reading for a class that I am taking), and wanted to share a few thoughts with those of you that know and love me. Monday is usually the start of a busy work or school week for most of us, and today didn't seem much different until right about now...
I spent an amazing week with my sister-in-law and nieces in Wisconsin last week. Not only was the week relaxing and restful and a nice break from the hectic city of Chicago, I came home with a new-found sense of peace. Yes, peace. Never have I been in a place that exudes such a calm and I have to say that it was the least place that I would have expected it to come from, especially regarding the loss of my brother and friend, David.
The last nine months have been a very long and winding road for our family, both as individuals and as a unit. Each one of us has our own family unit, and my brother left behind his family unit of two daughters and a wonderful wife, as well as sisters, brothers, our father, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, wonderful inlaws, a load of good friends, and a church family who loved him more than we can fathom. Being with the kids last week was refreshing, comforting, and actually a lot of fun! They have his sense of humor and his love of life. To see the three of them together, pressing on in the midst of change and learning to step forward and still embrace life, love, and one another is remarkable. I am ashamed for the down times I have spent missing my brother when I see their progress with each other and their surroundings. They have taught me to look forward with the grace and understanding that I think can only come from accepting the situation and finding the peace and goodness that has transpired since.
I wanted to share this in hopes of inspiring someone today. Live life fully, without regrets. Sometimes we don't get a second chance to right the wrongs on our path, so please try to life as wholly and full of love as possible. For each situation that we endure, there is someone else in this world that is suffering even more than us. In life, there will be death and grief. Our faith in God and our love for our family and friends can be a source of great strength to press on.
Smile at a stranger. Say please and thank you often. Help someone carry their groceries. Feel the warm spring breeze and sit in the sunshine for a few minutes during your lunch break. Be kind and gentle and you will too find the peace that I have recently found.
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