"The other thing I know: A broken heart is lighter when we carry it together." -Shauna Niequist
Having experienced multiple miscarriages myself and personally knowing so many women that have walked that same painful road, I think this is an important (and quick) read for everyone.
Read Shauna's blog post HERE.
Miscarriage and infant loss is a topic that is so ever present, yet still makes us feel like we are alone in our suffering and pain because we struggle with the silence...and the "whys" and "what-ifs". Our friends, and sometimes even our families, shy away from the discussion, the tears, the hugs. It is uncomfortable. It is painful. Sometimes there are no words that feel right and loving and justifiable, so none are said at all, which can add to the already painful moments.
Let me be one to share that yes, it IS uncomfortable, but we would much rather have your silent, loving hug to acknowledge the pain than have nothing at all. The pain does subside, with occasional reminders of what might have been--the news of an unplanned pregnancy of someone you know, the birth of a child to someone who doesn't want it, your best friend having another baby after years of being "done". Yes, the pain does lessen and subside, but it never goes away completely. With faith and hope and love, strength prevails and time marches on. We find love and solace in other things: maybe we do end up having another child (and maybe we don't); perhaps our love is poured into someone or something else that brings us great joy; maybe we are given the gift of a special child that belongs to someone else but we are able to love them as our own. No matter what, I believe that God just "knows". He knows what is best and what will sustain us and He will allow us enough of whatever it is to feel a part of the journey in some way.
Ladies (and guys, too): you're not alone if you have experienced miscarriage, the loss of a child, the pain of a failed adoption, the disappointment of fertility treatments gone wrong...we share this journey. It can be lighter when we put it all into words.
On this day of remembering the losses, I love Shauna's words: "A broken heart is lighter when we carry it together."
I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Let's lighten our load together.
Until again,
~Red
